Remembering

by Shauna V. Brown 

     Rick and I were blessed to get-a-way for the weekend. We haven’t been anywhere for so long. It was good just to have space to think without someone calling, texting or needing the Bishop. We didn’t go to any place exotic. Sometimes one doesn’t need to go very far to find peace, and joy in just being together. I even took of a day of work. That says a lot at the moment. It was needed and so enjoyable. 

     Of course we had way too many things written down that we wanted to accomplish.True to tradition we found ourselves checking off a few on the list.  One item, not even represented on our list came to be a central focus for my thoughts. My children won’t be surprised that Rick and I found ourselves walking through a cemetary. I love cemetaries.  I don’t know how or when it started. Perchance I learned to appreciate the value of lives because my mother would nightly  read the obituaries in the newspaper. Many times she would even underline items that stood out and inspired her. I have found cemetaries to be a place of peace, upliftment and validation.  I have come to appreciate the unspoken testament, the words erased by wind and time,pictures of loved ones faded by the years. Countless stuffed toys matted and dirty, yet placed with tender care. Purpose within each life continues as I ponder their eternal journey. Often on family vacations we have found ourselves venturing through cementaries from the west coast to the east. I will long treasure my walk through one of the most beautiful: Mt. Auburn Cemetery in Cambridge, Mass. or Sleepy Hollow in New York. Many famous writers and historical characters are laid to rest there. Oliver W. Holmes, Doretha Dix, Henry W. Longfellow, to name just a few. Of course one naturally holds a reverance while in Arlington National Cemetary thinking of all those who have given their lives for the freedom of this country.  Long will my children remember the night we walked through Anaconda cemetary in Montana. It would be the perfect location for a Halloween movie for sure.  Many wealthy miners are buried there. Perhaps this cemetary isn't as famous as the pyramids, but much expense was given to magnificient headstones, gold leafing, rod iron gates and fences. All hoping for remembrance and a purpose driven life. 

          I can’t imagine how many cemetaries we have been to, but enough to know the differences in culture, time, beliefs and the value of a life. Frequently I want to know of stories behind the headstone.  Let me give you an example.  Rick and came across five little headstones all in a row. On two of the headstones it described that two sets of twins had been born. Semour and Spencer Allen had lived for two months, the other set of twins Rachel and Richard only lived a day. Three other headstones reflected further heart ache as one little child lived for two years, and the remaining one died after living only three days.  Instantly my heart felt grief for the parents who had, I’m sure anticipated the arrival of a newborn.  For that couple, their dreams, hopes had not been realized. I took a picture to capture that tender moment. I must never take for granted the six sweet gifts that Rick and I have welcomed into our hearts. Miracle to count over and over again.

     I have found cemetaries to be a sacred sanctuary to ponder the purpose of each life. As I have walked through years of memorial thoughts I have come to appreciate how even in death many headstones have touched my life, inspired my thoughts and given me new hope and direction. 

    I remember as if it was yesterday when mother would gather up old quart canning jars and fill them full of fresh cut pink and red peonies, lavendar lilacs, yellow iris and daisies from our yard. Then we would pile in the car as a family and travel to all the cemetaries where our ancestors are buried. At each grave time was given for sharing and reflection. We dusted and cleaned off the headstones and placed our offerings of remembrance. Somehow, within my childhood heart was generated the roots of love, reason for family, and perhaps my cemetary ventures.  

      I remember one sweet visit to my Father’s grave one memorial weekend.  One of our family members had placed several stocks of rubarb on daddy’s grave.  Just the site of the rubarb made me smile, and caused me to reflect upon the many times daddy would slice off a piece of rubarb from the garden and then sprinkle it with salt. He would share a piece with me and together we would enjoy the tartness as we smiled through puckering lips and giggles.  Sweet, sweet memories. I wonder what my children will place upon my grave? Perhaps bubbles, balloons, yellow ribbons, daisies or twirling windmills. 

Let’s not think of that now... I don’t even want to go there. There is so much to do and so little time. 

On my weekend list I wrote: take a bubble bath and read a book. I can check both off. Return to Tomorrow, by George G. Ritchie. He shared his near death experience. It was a most interesting read and very much parallels what I feel about death and being in the presence of Jesus Christ.  In the book,  young George is asked, by Jesus: “What did you do with your life?” 

 ... like everything else proceeding from Him it had to do with love. Have you loved others as I am loving you? Totally, unconditionally?” 

       My weekend seemed to be framed with thoughts of the other side of heaven, as even one of the movies we watched was  Night in Rodanthe, which focused upon losing a loved one.  

     I thought of my parents, grandparents and ancestors who have played a significant part in my inherited gene pool. It caused me to focus as well upon the divinity held within each of us.  I feel so blessed in having been raised in a loving, Christ centered home. I was surrounded by great examples in not only parenting, but with siblings who still continue to strengthn and enrich my life.

I don’t know what will be written on my headstone. Perhaps I will be twinkled.  But whatever happens I pray that I will live true to what I was sent here to do. 

        

    I pray that each day I will focus my life in such a way that I will be a ready and usable instrument in the hand of God. 

    Enjoy the sabbath.  

        Love to all,

        Shauna 

Have a sunshine day. . . with a cherry on top!