Dream Daddy

          I can almost hear my Father’s daily announcement, “It’s another beautiful morning!” While opening the kitchen window and breathing in another new day. Equally as expressive was his frequent invitations, “Come see this incredible sunset!” His outlook on life was always one of being positive. I guess I should express my appreciation at this very moment for the part  and key role he played in my life. He truly was a happy father, and made those around him realize the gift of a family.  Happy Fathers Day Daddy!

 Clyde LaVar Van Wagenen, called fondly by some "CL, Van, Mr. Van, Bishop, Daddy, Father, Sweetheart", was a man who taught, exampled, led, inspired those around him.   I could write pages upon pages about my Father. He was a gift, a special God given gift for me. 

     Years ago I had a very vivid dream I would like to share on this Father's Day. The dream so real that upon my waking I found I my pillow wet from tears. 

Just how far away is heaven? For that night I stepped within the realms of it, and saw my Father once again. It had been years since his passing. I was so excited to see him. He was walking briskly with a great concourse of people. It wasn’t difficult to see him, as his once jaunty walk was instantly recognizable. He was no longer was held back by Parkinsons. I ran to catch up. It had been such a long time.   “Daddy!” 

He smiled, nodded his head in recognition, then said, “So little time Shauna,” but he continued to walk. He seemed so focused, business like and couldn’t allow any distraction.  It was true, Daddy had always been an excellent businessman, and I fondly remembered how many people would tell me what an outstanding man he was.   “Mr. Van is the best boss anyone could have.”  “If you need something done, and something done well, just ask Mr. Van.” “He was my Bishop, and my favorite one.”   “I love your father, he always treats others so kindly.”

      So here I was following after the man I had known for years as ‘Daddy’...

 Oh, how I wanted to hug him and let him know of my love. However, in my dream that didn’t happen. I followed him in and out of buildings, up and down stairs. There were no golden highways or cobble stones, and most of the buildings were made of brick. What ? No marbled walls--gold or crystallized imagination? This was’wasn't the heaven I have dreamed of.  Mansions, I didn’t see any. But what I learned within those moments has caused me to ponder upon it frequently.  

      Daddy took me into a room. I quickly discovered it to be his office. It was small in comparison to the one he once had on earth.  It was evident that Daddy didn’t have any personal secretaries. He invited me to sit down. I was surprised to see the simple surroundings. There were no pictures on the walls. No digital devices of any kind. I thought for sure heaven would be more high tech. Yet, there was definitely a warmth I felt within.  

     My interest was then drawn to a wall where a large, antique, secretary stood. The kind of desk that has lots of cubbyholes and spaces, small drawers and such. It rose to be within a foot of the ceiling. It was ornately carved and crafted. Of interest were the compartments and spaces which were filled with envelopes. Some of the envelopes were filled and plump, while others looked seemingly flat.

I asked Daddy, “What do you do here in heaven?”  His reply was simple,“There is so little time Shauna.”

 I noticed that his desk was very organized. His fountain pen positioned directly by a stack of blank pieces of paper. I recall seeing that he had written a few words upon the top of one. Seeing my gaze caused him to fold it and slip it into an envelope on the third level.  (They must have secrets in heaven)

    “So little time,”  He reaffirmed again. Then he shared with me in his humble manner that he was a steward over our family, “I am to record what you do. Not just you Shauna, but all our family line and members.”  By all indications and observations he was tracking and noting our earthly performance. His job was to return and report of the experiences and use of our time. That was a sobering thought for me. Instantly I wanted to see my envelope. But even before I could speak, Daddy was up and moving out of the room. It was quickly apparent that there could be no hesitation and I quickly followed.  

As I was trying to keep up with him I went to push a door open. Unknowingly, I took my eyes off of my Father and my dream ended , as well as my moments with him.  I remember that I cried, and it wasn’t just in my dream.     

Wouldn’t we all love to see our personal envelopes? See those acts that are considered of most worth and value to the eternal perspective of life and time.  Would there be descriptions concerning our relationships, our example to others? Would we be described in glowing terms?  Would there be papers that would cause regrets or sorrows?  Would we be true to our divine nature?  Would there be moments  written where we had fallen short of our potential?

My Father kept saying, “So little time.” What did he mean? 

‘So little time’-- to become, to do, to believe, to give, to learn and know? Perhaps it should cause us to review and discover the truths within the saying by Goethe: “Things that matter most, should never be at the mercy of things that matter least.” 

    My Father was a great man, an exemplary man of God and mankind. He honored his home, his wife, loved his children. Daddy sought with great dedication to lead others to Christ. I wish I could write his notes and fill his envelope!

     Regardless of the true meaning of that dream I am grateful for it. Today more than ever before the reality of life is fragile and can never be measured by the ticking of the clock. The sunrises and the sunsets are far more appreciated by me today. 'It's a beautiful day', and my oh my, the sunsets are vivid in testimony of the true nature of God. Rejoice in our Father who art in Heaven, for each of us are HIS children.

      In my quiet, pondering moments  I think upon my envelope within Daddy's desk.  Is it bad to want to peek within? Will it be worthy of note.  I guess I'll leave the answer up to Daddy.

Enjoy Your Sabbath.

Love to you all

        Shauna