"ALL CLEAR!"

by Shauna V. Brown 

     Three houses down from my house, on Glenmare Street, lived the Davis family. Many of the neighborhood children were drawn there as they had a large, steep, driveway. It was a great place for all the youth to face death defying stunts, ride their wagons and man their bikes, roller skates during the summer. It was a thrill and spill driveway, because adjacent to the driveway were at least ten or twelve stairs leading up to the house. The stairs were avoided at all cost, as experience had witnessed many a blood gushing moment.

      One day Carolina Ball, Alene Davis and I were playing together. We were riding my red wagon down the driveway. Each of us would take turns manning the lookout position--watching for oncoming cars. One would take their turn pulling  the other to the top of the hill in the wagon.  Then when the signal was given would command the skill of steering the wagon down the hill. It might sound simple, but we realized the hazards. Each of us knew what bloody knees and elbows looked and felt like. When “All clear!” was yelled, we would jump into the wagon, and we were off. It was thrilling as the sudden rush of excitement and fear filled our young hearts. I was just eleven then.  Skill was demanded because if distracted, it was easy to crash on the curbing or vier off a safe path into the brush or hill on the opposite side of the driveway.  

    Carolina was taking her turn pulling me and the wagon up the driveway. We were almost to the top when we heard her mother call for her to come home.  Sighs of sadness were heard from all three of us. “Oh, not yet.”

“You can’t go!”  I extended. 

    “I’ve got to go! So, I’m going to let go of you right now!” Carolina said laughing.

      Instant fear flooded my mind as going down backwards on the driveway was obviously a hazard, a serious one. “You can’t!” I  countered, “I’ll get hurt! I can’t  guide it backwards!”    Then I loudly proclaimed, “If you do, Carolina, I will never talk to you again!” 

     To my surprise and horror Carolina let go of the wagon’s handle. I screamed as the wagon  began twisting and turning out of control.  I closed my eyes and yelled for help, as it quickly careened this way and that. I was praying all the while the wagon would miss the stairs. It swerved unmanned, zooming backwards down the driveway. I curled my body and clutched the sides of the wagon hoping all the while it would  miss the stairs. It seemed like forever as it traveled over the parking curb and into the street heading for a parked car. I held tightly wondering if in moments I would be smashed into a bloody mess. Gratefully it stopped inches from a crashing disaster. Carolina stood laughing, “You should have seen your face,Shauna!”   

        Alene stood frozen, “I thought you would be killed.”   

            “So did I,” I said looking quite upset at Carolina. I grabed hold of the handle and immediately set for home without a further word.   

      Now, imagine this.  Carolina and I had been best friends all our lives. She lived right across the street from me. We played together everyday. We walked to school - always. If we could have had friendship rings we would have had them for sure. But, remember my proclamation I yelled aloud? The promise, “If you let me go. . .”   

       Well I had heard somewhere, by someone, probably some Sunday talk at church, that one must stand true to their words spoken. To my young girl thoughts I was going to stand by my promise, and be true to them, I wouldn’t speak to Carolina ever again.  

     During that school year Carolina and her family moved away.  My best friend left, and I didn’t even have a “good-bye” for her.  

     Years passed, I got married, had children, yet all the time I thought about those words, my stupid stand, a promise.  Over thirty years, and I wondered if Carolina ever thought about me or our friendship and just how true to my promise I had been.   

     One Sunday, while standing in front of a large group of children during Sharing Time, I retold my dramatic story about the red wagon, the steep driveway. It must have been most visual as many of the children gasped aloud in fear.  Someone  yelled out, “What did you do?”  

     I sadly confessed, “I told her I would never talk to her again.”   

     “Did you?” 

     “No, and I feel so bad about it.” 

     It was during my talk that day that I gave myself a challenge. “I need to forgive myself and Carolina don’t I?”   Right in front of my young audience I realized I needed to let go of the feelings. I needed to forgive. I declared to the children that very day I would find where Carolina lived and give her a phone call and report back the next Sunday. 

      Thirty years and making a phone call? My mind kept saying, ‘it’s never too late.” 

        “Is this Carolina?” 

          I was surprised  when she instantly she replied,  “Shauna, how are you?” 

     She recognized my voice. We talked a few minutes, caught up and compared the number of children we had, where we had lived, and then I told her of the purpose of my call.  I reminded her of that day and the wagon experience. She couldn’t even remember it. 

          “Forgive you?” she asked. “Oh, I just thought you made new friends at school.” 

       One can only imagine my chagrin as I realized I had piled the regrets and sad feelings in my little red wagon for over thirty years, hoping all the while, during that time Carolina  had felt a twinge of regret allowing possible injury to her best friend, having betrayed our friendship-- where as she hadn’t even given it a second thought.  I had dramatically held onto my promised words, and never did speak to her again. In all truth I had become the one inflicted with an injured heart.  

        “I know it is a bad thing to break a promise, 

         but I think now that it is a worse thing to let a promise break you.”  ~ Jennifer Donnelly 

      So, that Sunday afternoon I stood at the top of my mind’s driveway, packed my little red wagon with the regret of holding onto a foolish promise, yelled “all clear,” and steered the wagon happily down the hill.  I screamed within and felt the wind in my face. I had made everything better, tossed the regret to the side. It was a freeing ride, a long awaited exhilaration.   Forgiveness is all about freedom.  

     Enjoy your Sabbath 

     Love always, 

     Shauna

GROWING FIELDS

By Shauna V. Brown 

Growing up I lived next to a large vacant field, that is except for the stink bugs, grasshoppers, red ants, spiders, crickets, butterflies, meadowlarks, sparrows and such. To a child it meant adventures, discovery, fun and learning. I frequently tagged along with my older brothers as they courageously ventured even further into the field and beyond. I observed as my brothers frequently disrupted ants beds, smashing and decimating their living quarters. It was instantly apparent one could not wait around to watch the unheavel of the ant family, as I learned quickly their hot and biting revenge. Snakes scared me, and field mice, well, it always was an adventure.

On the edge of the field was a railroad track and on occasions a freight train would travel upon it. It was an old steam powered train which chugged and puffed smoke as it slowly traveled behind our home.   

        My parents had cautioned my brothers and I about people who were known to hitch a ride upon trains illegally. They counciled us to be ever careful and aware.Warning us that when we heard the train to quickly return home. Mama called the illegal travelers Hobos.  My young imagination always took flight as I thought some of the men might be murderers, drunkers, or somebody ready to kidnap a ‘darling little girl like me.’  So whenever I heard the train coming I would quickly stop what I was doing and run for home.  I took my parent’s warnings seriously. But as I watched my older brothers I realized that most of the time they didn’t set to running home with the first sound of the train, as I did.  By their example, I soon became more relaxed and discovered that I wanted to see, for myself, up close, if there truly were those types of people riding on the train. So, on a few occasions I remember hearing the whistle, seeing the puffs of smoke and instead of running for home I crawled and hid myself in the tall grass and peered over an embankment to observe. My heart pounded hard, a sense of guilt flashed through my mind as well. I even could hear my mother’s cautionary words in my head. ‘Come home.’  

        Perhaps this was my first introduction to “living on the edge,” or at least the embankment, and in all reality I felt uncomfortable for not listening, or following direction. In fact,upon one of my close encounters when I stayed behind to watch the train.   I saw a man jump from the train and start climbing the ridge. I lay there frozen and dug in closer to the ground and prayed as hard as possible. I stayed there for a long time. 

         Gratefully, throughout my life I tried to follow the counsel, warnings and directions given from my parents and leaders. Mother frequently shared stories, vivid stories that clearly helped us envision those who made unwise choices and decisions. We also knew that she constantly prayed that each one of us would strive for the better.  

Over the years I have observed as well, some of my friends and acquaintances who didn’t listen to the whistles, warning bells, didn’t watch for the puff of smoke, didn’t take cover, or run for home, but were enticed to eat, drink and be merry. Some sadly jumped upon a train they thought was a free ride only to discover they would have a price to pay, sometimes a costly price. Regretfully, some of them being bound to a life they never imagined in the first place.  

Life is a field of learning. There are stink bugs, butterflies, crickets, mosquitoes and meadowlarks all seeking for our attention and wonder.  We choose were we want to be and who we want to be with. Our choices will define us ultimately.  

        I am thankful for knowing that a loving Father in Heaven has provided each of us with warning signs, signals, promptings and cautionary words. He has provided us a perfect pattern and plan for us to follow enabling us to be happy here and now. He is desirous for each of his children to feel of His unconditional love and peace.  Gratefully, he has furnished us the way, the truth, and the light, as well as the way back home. I am grateful for a Savior, who is willing to lift us up and wash away the dirt from hiding deep within the grass.   

             

MIND  BOGGLING

by Shauna V. Brown 

Recently I was asked, “What is your favorite movie?” Within my mind I scanned, and reviewed the many movies I have watched over the years.  I have a few chosen favorites, as I tend to be a traditionalist and don’t stray to far from reality.   I am still drawn to my beloved Anne of Green Gables, Sound of Music, Pride and Prejudice, The Secret Garden, My Fair Lady, to name a few.  I enjoy watching them over and over again, for in them I find numerous lessons to learn by.  Leading characters are shaped by their challenges and from despair comes joy, overcoming defeat to finding renewal and finding the best. In most cases my leading characters are found to live happily ever after.  At least that how my mind sees it. 

           “Climb every mountain, forge every stream follow every rainbow till you find your dream.”  ~ Sound of Music 

        “It’s been my experience that you can nearly always enjoy things if you make up your mind firmly that you will.”  ~ L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables 

        “Where you tend a rose, my lad, A thistle cannot grow.”  ~ Frances Hodgson Burnett, The Secret Garden 

            Our lives are shaped by our challenges , mountains if your will, that we face, whether they are big or small, imagined or real.  Sometimes, we think too much upon them, or simply turn and start walking down the hill.  Our mind’s focus is drenched in the “What ifs”, How will I, Can I, Should I ?  I find myself entertaining a lot of self talk, independent pep rallies, and mind scanning.  

        “The mountains of our minds are meant to be forged.” ~ Shauna Brown 

         Our thoughts can literally sink hope, dampen our faith, and dilute the power we hold within. We have to make a daily choice as to where we allow our thoughts to take us.  

        In reviewing some of the ancient feelings by Marcus Aurelius,  I was sweetly taken by his view point, perspective and by his wisdom. I share just two of inspiring thoughts: 

         “The soul becomes dyed with the colour of its thoughts.”  

        “The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.”  

            Some researchers suggest that we have 48 thoughts per minutes. Isn’t that mind boggling? No wonder there are moments when we have a brain freeze, memory loss, or want to take a nap.  It is estimated that in one day we have well over 70,000 thoughts marching through our mind. Is there little wonder then, that a portion of our thoughts, 80% are negative. So think about what we are pondering, what we are thinking, and where our focus is.  

         Years ago I learned about the work of Japanese scientist Dr. Masaru Emoto. Dr. Emoto photographed frozen samples of polluted water before and after prayer was done over the water. He also photographed sample of distilled water before and after exposure to various kinds of music, such as heavy metal  or the more relaxing tones of Beethoven. He also taped words to the containers of distilled water such as “You make me sick; I will kill you” and  “Love and appreciation.” 

        The energies from beautiful words and thoughts, even if only written, created exquisite snowflake-like patterns in the water. The less uplifting energies created images of disorder and toxicity. Even a simple “thank you” produced a lovely crystalline pattern. 

     Is it little wonder the, that we, being made up of a great percentage of water need  to surround ourselves with all things uplifting, even the colors that we wear, the movies, the books, the people.  Our thoughts will and can make such a difference in our life. 

             Today more than ever before we need to seek and surround ourselves with all that is good, allowing it to pour into our heart and soul. Imagine our exquisite crystalline 

patterns we are creating.

        Enjoy your Sabbath. 

        Love Always, 

        Shauna

Puddles 

and Promises 

     

by Shauna V. Brown 

     I  love reading my mother’s history. She shared her life through stories.Stories that are uplifting, educational and inspiring. I will be ever so grateful that she jotted down her thoughts, feelings and shared her testimony so freely.

    This morning I stepped back in time with Mama, as she reflected upon her life, describing how it was for her growing up as a child during the depression. As I read  a story written in 1981, she was in her seventies, she vividly recalled her feelings: “The economy of the United States is in a deplorable  condition. Nine million Americans are out of work. Factories are closing. . . Crime, corruption and fraud are daily broadcast from the housetops. . . bombs exploding, . . loss of innocent lives are almost daily occurances. . .   fears, anxiety, strife, hatred, suffering and poverty fill the news.”

     Continuing her story of how it was as a young bride when depression visited again our country in 1938,    “Van(my father), became Bishop of the Nineth Ward in Salt Lake City. There was much relief needed in this time of depression. Heads of families were out of work. Food, clothing, shelter and heat were requested by many members of our ward.” 

The paragraph that seemed to standout upon the page: “When Van checked over those in need of assistance -- not one had been a tithe payer.  Not even those who had payed only a part tithe had need of welfare.”

    “It was surely a testimony to both Van  and me. The Lord surely does keep His promises.  He says he will open the windows of heaven and pour out blessings greater than we can contain.”

       “I will … pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.” Mal. 3:10.

       Is history repeating itself?  Crime, corruption, fraud -- it sure sounds the same to me.  We will encounter numerous voices that cause us to doubt, question, pause and ponder which path to choose- who to follow? We will be surrounded with virtue and vice, happiness and sadness, obedience and disobedience, open hearts and hard hearts. There will be those that heed and those that hide. I believe with full heart that if we seek to do God’s will andfollow Him he will guide us through the depressing moments, the storms and rumblings of time.  

I pray that we will all be ready, ready to push open the windows, pop our umbrellas, get out our boots and be ready for the down pour from heaven.   Did I say be ready?  We must look for the sparkling rain today and realize that blessings are being bestowed here and now.         

       “To be cheerful when others are in despair, to keep the faith when others falter, to be true even when we feel forsaken—all of these are deeply desired outcomes during the deliberate, divine tutorials which God gives to us—because He loves us. These learning experiences must not be misread as divine indifference. Instead, such tutorials are a part of the divine unfolding.” ~ Neal A. Maxwell

      So, as we are caught in the unfolding of our lives, let us write down how God in His wisdom has given us opportunities to stretch and grow, ponder and pray, and develop greater faith and trust. Let us record, like Mama did, those times when we danced in the rain, blew kisses to God, and marveled at our daily miracles. As we think upon those times we will realize that it has been raining most days.   Now, let’s go and find the puddles.... and make a big splash that lands upon our hearts.

Enjoy your Sabbath,

Love Always,

Shauna  

                        

                        FINISH   STRONG

by Shauna V. Brown 

      

The Olympics are over once again. Most of the Olympians have returned to their  

homes and countries. Some of them have received warm welcomes with cheering crowds, parades and fan fare, achieving what they hoped. Others are content that they will forever carry the title of an Olympian. Still there will be those who feel broken, defeated and embarrassed, returning home empty.  

       But I remain back at the finish line with my thoughts. The marking point of championship and success, or instant defeat.    _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

      FINISH  lines, are usually clearly marked with lines, banners, balloons, flags, large letters, ribbons or tape. I have observed most have a gathering crowd to applaud and cheer those who have completed the race. We watch with eager anticipation to see who will cross the line first, and ‘bring home the medal.’  Today we marvel as most winners are found crossing the finish line within a hundredth of a second, less than a blink of an eye.   

     No one goes with the hope to finish fifth or twentieth, first is the goal. Each competitor has the hope to stand tall upon a platform and be rewarded for their effort, skill, and years of dedication. For most of them ‘blood, sweat and tears’  doesn’t even touch upon the many broken bones, pulled and torn ligaments as well as broken hearts, disappointment or disasters that they have encountered.     

      It’s interesting to me to recognize that we, each of us, are holding to a similar quest. Let’s take the downhill racer as an example. Each skier is given an overview of the course, they have a map to study and visualize within their minds, they are informed by their coaches as to the condition of the snow, ice and temperatures. Information is quickly generated so they can learn from skiers who have gone previously. They mentally play the course over and over, reviewing each turn, each incline, and where they need to place their weight and skis.  

    Oh, if life could be so easy? Our personal quest and pathway isn’t marked by any flags or ink. There are no signs clearly indicating which way to go or when, we are left to our agency and choices. Even in our daily practices and pursuits, we have no map to follow. No one has walked our individual path before us. Often there seems to be too many voices to listen to.  On our individual paths there are icy inclines and deep rutted declines, rough patches, and gratefully there are smooth moments when we take heart and press forward, knowing  there is a finish line-- somewhere.   

       I like the way author and radio mentor, Anita R. Sneed-Carter expresses the pursuit to finish strong and full of faith:  

“Life is short, so live it full! Know that the work that the Lord has begun in you, He will finish it. So, honor Him today with your gift to Him, “steadfastness/endurance to live His work, and not yours. It may get tough along this journey where the enemy speaks “quit”, but remember, God is not through with what He began in you. In God, your life shall be made full and complete( whole)!”  

        

      I recall with great clarity the time my first child, nine month old Heather, wobbly walked into my arms from across the room. There was no finish line visible, but it was there. Heather’s face lit up with smiles, mirroring a great moment for her parents. One would have thought Rick and I had won a prize, or launched a thousand balloons. Our little Heather had taken courage, trusted and with faith and followed the prompting --“Come.”          Joy is in the coming--- unto Christ.   

     Our ultimate coach is our Savior, Jesus Christ.  He has marked the path, and led the way.

   

        “Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of  hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.” 2 Nephi 31:20

      Just like Heather, we will take baby steps and then lengthen our stride, then step by step we come, we follow-- we finish.  That’s the goal- our eternal finish line.    Each day as we cross the daily finish line, we can take a deep breath and be reassured there is someone encouraging us on.  You see Christ said it first,“It is finished.” 

Enjoy your Sabbath. 

Love to all

Shauna