"Be True to You!"

by Shauna V. Brown 

In high school some of my friends and associates referred to me by a word that I came to dislike intensely --“WEIRD.”  “You’re, weird Shauna.” “People can’t be happy all the time.”  “Don’t you ever quit smiling?"  "You’re weird.” “You’re strange.”      As I made plans to attend college away from home, friends and family I determined to change my persona-- a new Shauna.   I was desirous to pattern my actions after a few I had observed.  I would try to be quiet like Joanna, smile like Sara Jane, be more delicate like Ann, be softer spoken. I would develop a more reserved personality like Peggy. I believe I was on the pinnacle of becoming the new and improved Shauna Van Wagenen.      I went to Utah State University where I knew no one, and no one knew me.      After a brief period, a little over two weeks, of self seeking transformation ,  I was called to come and visit with my new Bishop. I imagined that he was going to give me an opportunity to serve in the church, probably someone to lead the music.     Now realize, this was my first conversation, and meeting with the bishop. I sat quietly across the desk from him.  There was no friendly chit chat, no get acquainted conversation. He cleared his throat. Then, looking directly into my eyes he said:  “Shauna, your Heavenly Father loves you very much. He wants you to know that you must be true to yourself.  You are not acting your part.”           I was stunned. It was as if someone had sucked all the air out of my lungs. He sat quietly waiting for me to take in the simple message he had presented.  Then he added,  “Shauna, be true to you.”  “Just be yourself.”     The words vibrated within my heart and I clearly recognized, and felt a sense of guilt.  The truthfulness of the statement was deeply impressed. I knew it, the Bishop knew it, God knew it and I could not deny it.  I was trying to be a composite of personalities, someone that I wasn’t meant to be. I had been untrue to my divine creator’s purpose.  I cried.      Through my tears I came to realized a surge of freedom. I was expected to be 'Shauna.'  I wasn’t meant to be carbon copy of anyone. I wasn't meant to act like Peggy, Ann, or Joanna.  Through the mouthpiece of a sensitive and inspired Bishop - I was directed, corrected and prompted to make an adjustment in my behavior and outlook.         That fall afternoon is forever written on my heart, “Be true to you.”     I left his office a far different young lady.  I welcomed back the spirit I had tried to suffocate. On the long walk back to my apartment I spent time in self talk and prayer.  I realized that no matter where we live, our Father in Heaven is very much aware of each of us. God had revealed so tenderly one of the missions in my life.           Imagine Martha Washington as she wrote: “I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.”           In John 16:33, it reads:  “Be of good cheer”.  It’s not a limited command, it is meant for all. Regardless of the circumstances we find ourselves in, what others may say of us, they are merely challenges with purpose that we must over come.  Developing an attitude of good cheer is a choice.         Descriptive words like weird, strange, screwy, odd, still on occasion brush against my sensitive soul, but I have found it’s a blessing to dispel it, I simply respond:  “I’m unique.”  Fully knowing that I was gifted with a cheerful heart, I am meant to spread sunshine.         Enjoy the Sabbath         Love to all         Shauna